Thursday, 23 April 2009

Free and Agreeable Manners To 'umblelover

So what! I'm not li' goood 'nuf fo you to li', respond to? I fought it was romantic wif me li', commenting li', directly to your add, but noooo, you 'ave to go an' li', ignore me n'stuff! What's your problem anyway? I'm not "'umble" enouf fo you 'cause I's li', don't 'ave a full-time job and li', mad amounts of dosh?

I really is a fun girl, full o' life and well rounded. If you'd li', li' to li', chat, but are li', not sure 'bout me, den you could take a peek at my MySpace profile, and den maybe you'd li', see how smart I can really be, n'stuff, an' den maybe we could li', watch one o' my favourite movies li', "Step Up 2: The Streets," or li', "The Muppet's Christmas Carol," 'cause li' even though it's li', April, dere's always Christmas In July, an' since dat weva's always crap, we could get a little plant an' decorate it, n'stuff.

Or if you prefer, I've got li', a serious music collection, so we could li', pop on a couple WestLife albums 'cause you know who discovered dem, right? OMG, Simmon Cowell, y'know, from dat ol' tele show "Pop Idol" dat's now wicked famous in da States...uh,...American Idol, dat's right. He's a well fit bloke, don'tcah fink? I mean li', not that I don't fink you're nice or anyfink li' dat, an' li' you don't 'ave to be worried or anyfink about me not bein' faiful 'cause dat's li', my middle name, y'know.

Anyway, check out my profile and 'it me up! 'member, I could always take you shoppin' 'bout Camden Market or we could trip ova to that geezer Dickens's House!

Don't forget...

....my profile

...below, LOL!

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=468405220

Free and Agreeable Manners To Little Woman

You 'ave beatiful eyes...

...'ow you doin' dis fine London day?

:)

Free and Agreeable Manners Seeking Lone Wanderer

Heeey Lone Wanderer,

'ow you doing t'day? I see you's li' enjoy long walks n'stuff - yeah, me too! Sometimes it's nice to just li', get away for a good fink, huh? Me, I knows my way 'round London nuf good, but li', where you live n'stuff? Camden area's where I li', live, kinda, and if I'm not li', dere, den I'm, y'know, somewhere else, ala, my ol' boss's place 'elpin' 'im wif all 'is business, stuff.

'ave you ever been ova frough any ov da parks, li' Kensington or Regent's? I enjoy strollin' frough Green Park meself 'cause li' dat's ova by da Buckingham Palace an' I's 'ope to one day li', see it, n'stuff - 'ow many rooms you fink day 'as up in dere anyway? Li' a fousand somefing? Pro'ly, lol. I've already picked my room out - you can see it if you're sittin' on dat statue of li' Queen Victoria, y'know what I'm li' talkin' 'bout? We could meet dere if you fink you'd be interested in me, li'.

I'm sorry to 'ear your fava li' passed; musta been 'ard on you what wif you li', bein' so close, ala, faver and son. And your mum's a cow is she? It's always de mum's fault, in li', my opinion. Me personally, I've neva really 'ad me much a family, unless you count dis chap named Fagin, an' 'e's li', alright n'stuff, but li' sometimes 'e wouldn't be so nice to me, or my little mate Oliver, but li', whateva.

We 'ave somefink in common me and you; you li' to 'elp people li', less fortunate dan yourself, an' me, me I li' do too! I's 'elped save me friend once, but I got li' a real wicked beatin' fo it so since den, I kinda just don't, y'know, 'cause I don't know if you've eva been beat wif a pistol, but bloody 'ell, it li', hurts, bad! But I'm also li', not what you'd call well off, n'stuff, 'cause I li' have spent all my life on da streets...li', workin' and 'elpin' out...li' the local London communittees, an' dat doesn't leave a whole lotta time for li', me, but I'm always tryin'.

Lemme ask you a question: do you li', li' dis new show on the tele called "Tough Love"? It's well safe an' da bloke in charge of all dese birds is nuf wicked, 'cause 'e's givin' up all 'is free time to li' 'elp women find deir true loves, which is kinda li' Bleaksingles.com, except 'e gets to be on da tele an' is li' well fit...kinda li' you, btw, lol!

But I's sure a 'ard workin' woman, I is. Someone once described me as 'avin' a 'eart o' gold, but dat was li', really nice and 'e li', made me blush 'cause li', all anyone eva calls me is a slag or somefink equally rude, when li' I'm jus tryna 'elp provide fo myself, n'stuff y'know. What's wrong wif dat? I don't fink anyfing, but dat's only li', my opinion.

Well, if you's li' to li', go somewhere fo a good chat, we could always meet in front of da li', Palace, an' I could, I don't know, li', show you my room n'whatnot, but li' only if you want to, which I 'ope you do 'cause we could 'ave a great conversation 'bout stuff, y'know, li' London, 'cause dat's where I'm from, lol, but 'ere I go, repeatin' myself...I fink - 'old on; lemme check... Yeah, yeah, I's said dat already, duh, lol!

Oh, an' I'd be a great mova to your babies, so give it a fink an' let me know.

PS - you's li' well fit, I mean well fitt, wif two "t's", lol! Ok, write back soon hottness ;)

Response to Little Woman

I would love to meet you in person. You seem like a lovely lady. I have a complicated past involving being passed around as a young child, stealing and being abused, but I have gotten past it all. You could say I was a naiive troublemaker, mixed up in the wrong crowds. You appear to be a beautiful young woman, and a charming lady. Please say you'll meet me.
-David Copperfield

Response to Silent Louisa

Dear Louisa,
Your father and I have dicussed the situation at hand and have decided that it would be in your best interest to be wed to me. I could provide a good life for you with anything your little heart could ever desire.
-Self-Made Man

Self-Made Man

I am Josiah Bounderby of Coketown. Abandoned by my mother at a young age, I have risen up from a background of poverty and suffering to become a bank owner and a factory owner. I would be interested in marriage to a young, beautiful woman however she cannot take away from my work. I have worked hard to build my life and I am not willing to lose any money or time at work over a woman.

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