Free and Agreeable Manners Seeking Lone Wanderer

Heeey Lone Wanderer,

'ow you doing t'day? I see you's li' enjoy long walks n'stuff - yeah, me too! Sometimes it's nice to just li', get away for a good fink, huh? Me, I knows my way 'round London nuf good, but li', where you live n'stuff? Camden area's where I li', live, kinda, and if I'm not li', dere, den I'm, y'know, somewhere else, ala, my ol' boss's place 'elpin' 'im wif all 'is business, stuff.

'ave you ever been ova frough any ov da parks, li' Kensington or Regent's? I enjoy strollin' frough Green Park meself 'cause li' dat's ova by da Buckingham Palace an' I's 'ope to one day li', see it, n'stuff - 'ow many rooms you fink day 'as up in dere anyway? Li' a fousand somefing? Pro'ly, lol. I've already picked my room out - you can see it if you're sittin' on dat statue of li' Queen Victoria, y'know what I'm li' talkin' 'bout? We could meet dere if you fink you'd be interested in me, li'.

I'm sorry to 'ear your fava li' passed; musta been 'ard on you what wif you li', bein' so close, ala, faver and son. And your mum's a cow is she? It's always de mum's fault, in li', my opinion. Me personally, I've neva really 'ad me much a family, unless you count dis chap named Fagin, an' 'e's li', alright n'stuff, but li' sometimes 'e wouldn't be so nice to me, or my little mate Oliver, but li', whateva.

We 'ave somefink in common me and you; you li' to 'elp people li', less fortunate dan yourself, an' me, me I li' do too! I's 'elped save me friend once, but I got li' a real wicked beatin' fo it so since den, I kinda just don't, y'know, 'cause I don't know if you've eva been beat wif a pistol, but bloody 'ell, it li', hurts, bad! But I'm also li', not what you'd call well off, n'stuff, 'cause I li' have spent all my life on da streets...li', workin' and 'elpin' out...li' the local London communittees, an' dat doesn't leave a whole lotta time for li', me, but I'm always tryin'.

Lemme ask you a question: do you li', li' dis new show on the tele called "Tough Love"? It's well safe an' da bloke in charge of all dese birds is nuf wicked, 'cause 'e's givin' up all 'is free time to li' 'elp women find deir true loves, which is kinda li' Bleaksingles.com, except 'e gets to be on da tele an' is li' well fit...kinda li' you, btw, lol!

But I's sure a 'ard workin' woman, I is. Someone once described me as 'avin' a 'eart o' gold, but dat was li', really nice and 'e li', made me blush 'cause li', all anyone eva calls me is a slag or somefink equally rude, when li' I'm jus tryna 'elp provide fo myself, n'stuff y'know. What's wrong wif dat? I don't fink anyfing, but dat's only li', my opinion.

Well, if you's li' to li', go somewhere fo a good chat, we could always meet in front of da li', Palace, an' I could, I don't know, li', show you my room n'whatnot, but li' only if you want to, which I 'ope you do 'cause we could 'ave a great conversation 'bout stuff, y'know, li' London, 'cause dat's where I'm from, lol, but 'ere I go, repeatin' myself...I fink - 'old on; lemme check... Yeah, yeah, I's said dat already, duh, lol!

Oh, an' I'd be a great mova to your babies, so give it a fink an' let me know.

PS - you's li' well fit, I mean well fitt, wif two "t's", lol! Ok, write back soon hottness ;)